I’ve been thinking of becoming a psychopath. Not really a psychopath who kills people. More like a compassionate one who acts in a good manner and does wonders for the world. Being psychopathic must be damn crazy, but what if it was for good reasons? What if I watered people’s lawns, or deliberately sought to clean big cities just for the hell of it? I think I should while still having a demeanor that is slightly off: Scribbling on notebooks, drawing lucid pictures of clowns, why not? I want to be some kind of mysterious person that wants to do God’s will too. I don’t like being in the public eye so much, and it seems that is the only way that I could be.
I just want everyone else to be happy. Today in my Interpersonal communication class, I learned that we’re not giving credit to each other. The girls talked about how they tried to decode and how boys fail to decode, but we should just be open to each other. The girls argued that they didn’t want to seem rude or anything, but that is selfish and what not. If you are not interested in someone, you should be open about it. And if you want to tell that man you aren’t interested, tell him. He won’t beat you or hate you. I think we assume too many things. I think I make too many assumptions and over generalize myself. We should all be more open and direct when we communicate, at least in terms of who we want to marry. If we feel someone is dangerous and give in to being a relationship, what if that person hurts you?
I think it gets too confusing. I felt uncomfortable in my class, what with all the facebook discussions. Why can’t we all blog. Because when I write in here, there are no hidden motives. What you read is what’s true. And everything that people write doesn’t come from wanting to impress someone or trying to tell people what they want to hear. I just tell it like it is, and blogs let me do that. Fuck friends. Something that I need to work on actually. I shouldn’t hate the concept of friends. I think I should be able to come up with my own reasons. I think there ARE people who want to be my friend to spend quality time with me and who just want to get to know me better. Not everyone is out to get me, I just want to make people happy, so I might as well start acting like it.