“Fashionistas”and those who ignore

Posted: October 12, 2009 in Uncategorized

Some girls at my school are all dressing like they have good taste in clothes or something. I don’t have style & I’m in NO position to say which way to dress is teh correct way to dress, but it’s weird how they dress. They make their hair all wavy or straight. They wear really tight tights that are worn with some type of boots. They wear scarves and winter boots during the summer sometimes. Part of me wants to tell them that they aren’t being very original since there are a l ot of people going around dressing like that, maybe.

I can’t deal with women sometimes. I’m not claiming their inferior or anything, I just want them to like me. It’s weird how often I find myself imagining myself going out with some chick. It’s probably never going to happen either. Idoubt there’s a woman out there who’d want to be with me anyway, I don’t “get” them. I always assume they’re going to stay cool with me and be my friend, but even THAT doesn’t happen anymore. Maybe I’m being to needy or picky or something. I just want to feel all wanted, tired of writing lots of pages in my journal when I could be telling people these things in person. Except they don’t care enough to act like I exist.
I guess my problem is that I’ve been through NOTHING except people who act like they’re going to talk to me and shit but they never do. It makes me feel like an ass, and you know what? I’m not the type of person who’s going to re-register a facebook account to look at what those people are up to. I guess I used to be, but I realized it didn’t work either way. Girls are mean though, and the worst part is they don’t show it directly. They just do little things that add up or something. Don’t get me wrong, their sweet and everything, but they can be cold sometimes, especially when they just go ahead and cut you off of their life. Maybe I just don’t fit in with their lifestyle, but still, they could at least talk to me right, sometimes at least?
I think the thing with women is that they don’t ever want to offend anyone, but the thing they don’t get is that saying nothing hurts even more. Not writing back is worse than writing mean things because it shows that they acknowledge your very existance. So if you’re a woman and you’ve stoppped telling people what your problem is, don’t be afraid to. Men, in my opinion, need to feel important, or like we exist and who knows, maybe everyone feels that way. At least I do though.
Text messages just make it worse. There’s this girl who said that she’d let me know when she had time to talk to me. I can’t keep texting her “So do you have time to talk this week?” It makes me sound all desperate when all I want to do is talk to her for goodness sake. I get her little clue though, well not really. If she doesn’t want to talk to me, I rather her be blunt about it. And if she does, she shouldn’t say something like ‘I’ll let you know.’ it’s practically a direct message, but still. She’ll never text anything, but I shouldn’t say that because it might come true. I’m not going to text that bitch. I can’t believe I still fall for it. We get all carried away when people pretend to care. It’s funny how many times I lower my expectations and then I go right beack to hoping like a fool and stuff.

I’ll just wait and see, but I’m ion doubt and I hate being in doubt because it reminds me of all those self-fulfilling prophecies. Damn you, CMCs!!!

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