I feel numb-tired and zombie-ish [long but good post]

Posted: February 27, 2010 in Uncategorized

I am reporting from some public library on Ocean Park; not going to write to BIC today though.

I feel all numb in my brain and tired in my eyes. Can’t think too hard but I’m okay with it for now. But I want to work on my arms later so I better wake up pretty soon.

Anyway, last night I actually ventured off somewhere; by myself of course. I went on the bike path at the beach and then to the pier in Santa Monica, wasn’t too far from here or my house. I went near the bathrooms and playgrounds where you can exercise w/ bodyweight: Pull-up bars laid out, bars for dips and olympic-looking rings for swinging. The moon was hiding in the clouds, but they moved and I got to see the moon for a while, while I held on to the taller of the pull-up bars.

Some other people were there, probably my age. There was this one kid exercising and showing off to some of his female friends. You can tell they weren’t as impressed as he thought they’d be. I didn’t care. I felt free on the way there, too. I got to ride on the bike path and no one was in my way. It was the kind of feeling where you feel like a plastic bag caught in an updraft, soaring but not too high. Just steady and without much thought. I love that feeling. You don’t feel cold or there. You don’t feel fat, or left-out at night.

I’ve grown up being scared of the night-time. It’s not so bad. There aren’t many annoying people out at night. And if there ARE, they’re pretty quiet.

Anyway, I went to the pier’s arcade. I wasted 50 cents on ski-ball. Why do I think I’m GOOD at that game? I lose like every time. But I played when I was little with my sister and my dad. Those days weren’t so bad. Anyway, I took my quarters to that dinosaur machine where you can get like a gazillion prize tickets with like 10 dollars. I got 270 tickets with about 3 and a half dollars. The prizes of my choosing were these three dinosaurs (one of which was lost) and a rubberish bumblebee, half the size of a computer’s mouse I guess. You should look at the prizes before you play to get motivated, and to know there may not be any large parachute men, because they don’t always have them.

After that, I went to walk around some more. I saw a lot of kids my age, on dates and shit. Dates with even numbers like 2 4 or 6. I was with myself so I guess even THAT was a group of two. Everyone looked all cool with each other. I had seen this girl from my Sociology class, with what looked out to be her boyfriend, or potential one. I’d left the rest my quarters there on purpose, so someone would have a good time, but I went back to the arcade ad changed my mind. They were still there.

So anyway, I walked on the boardwalk to look at these people, having a good time, none of their annoying toddlers around to ruin their time. Lots of kids my age though, like I said. The night-time seems to bring out the quietness in everyone (possibly).

My favorite part of the night was the game I played. the girl there was spooky looking in retrospect. She was the type that looked not very attractive, but you know she had a boyfriend or something that probably played in some weird ass band or something. The game required me to get three beanbag looking things and pitching them. The goal was to knock down these cat thingies, but they looked more like clowns to me. You get 5 tries fo $5 so I went that route. After she explained the rules I went ahead and threw. Got 2 out of five which meant a small prize. I wanted to impress her and shit, even though she wasn’t my type I guess. Us men are weird like that. So she told me to pick a prize…

“Which one do you want?
“Is that a brown one?”
“No, it’s green.”
“Can I have which ever one is closest to blue?”
“We have one that’s actually blue.”
“Okay, then I’ll have that one.”

“Thank you.”

I retained my manhood. She didn’t seem impressed and shit. I felt like I had impressed her. imagine if I lost. That would have been awkward as fuck, just imagine. Knowing how desperate people can be, I would have kept trying though. I actually contemplated, afterward, that I should have been like:

“Which one do you want?”
“I’m not sure. What’s your favorite color?”
“Pink I guess.
“Okay then here.”

And then i would have given it to her as a gift and shit. I know, its pathetic but I thought itta been sweet, and more realistic than some hot chick I know sitting by herself and me walking up to her and saying I won this for you” with some sick ass smile or something.

I felt numb again, on my way back. A lot of corrupt drunkard kids like to hangout along that bike path at night. It seems they aren’t mature people. One of them was like (which I’ve heard so many times):

“Look a bike let’s go jack the bike.” And I ignore them because they’re stupid as fuck.”

The End. I’ve learned that not everyone is annoying, judgemental, or stupid, or mean. At least ot at the same time. Some smart people are annoying and there are always those mean people who aren’t too annoying. Okay, I take that last sentence back. You know what I mean though.

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