I’ve been Living for all the Wrong Reasons

Posted: March 12, 2010 in Uncategorized

People screen their calls and shit. That has nothing to do with the post I will write…

I tore up that letter yesterday and through it away. Why?
Because I was wasting my time trying to look for her, and when I found her, my card wasn’t even with me.

So the lesson didn’t start/ end there. I learned that who gives a fuck about her anyway? I’m wasting my time thinking about shit like girls, or how I look.

And I kept walking, with my nose all up in the air, trying to look all impressive. And then it hit me: I am not an animal. Why the fuck do I have to dress a certain way to get other people to like me; and it doesn’t even work either way. I’ve been living like an animal, whose purposes are to eat, find a mate, and reproduce. I’m a …. person? Yeah, kind of.

I want to live for the group. I don’t want to stress on little shit like what people think about me, or whether or not I’m “good enough.” In this world, no one’s good enough for anyone I tell you!

Anyway, I want to live for the group and forget about the little things. I want to get a J-O-B and support myself and my family, not some chick that is probably going to feel wanted and stuff. All that can wait to be honest. And my life doesn’t need that, no one’s does.

You are only self-conscious when your goals are to get other people to like you or something. You shouldn’t give a fuck, except if those people are your family or your VERY good friends. They are too worried about how you’re doing and not how you look. When your family tells you you’ve changed, and your ‘new friends’ haven’t, that means something is wrong.

Just be yourself (for the most part), which to be honest is horrible advice. I hate it when people tell me that because I don’t know how to be myself and or if it works.

The point is to know the REAL point of your life. Kids and marriage/ divorce will happen anyway, most likely. Take it easy now. Live YOUR life and no one else’s except if you have dutiful responsibilities for your Creator, country, or family. Just know that there are people, yes PEOPLE, out there that are looking out for you, and other people too…

What if someone assumed YOU didn’t love them? It’d be inappropriate for them to assume that kind of shit anyways.

Anyway, I’m done ranting. I want to just take it easy, get some errands done, write about how easy rich people REALLY DO have things…

Take Care…

PS. Some things, I’m beginning to think, are too hard to get over. Sometimes you need closure and it sucks when you don’t get that kind of shit…


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