Are you as lonely as I am?

Posted: April 26, 2010 in Uncategorized

Sometimes I feel very lonely, like an old lady might. When you wait and wait and wait for someone to approach you because you are too scared. You wait because when someone talks to you first, you know they won’t reject you.

I miss special people in my life but did I miss them or did I miss how I felt at that time? Why won’t they communicate with me; now I will never know what I did or what I could have done. I understand they had issues, but couldn’t they at least still talk to me? It wasn’t MY fault they had to go away so why are they ignoring ME and not everyone?

I don’t know if I miss people or the feelings/ good times. It’s hard to let shit go because you don’t feel like you have to. I feel like letting go is when shit gets in the way of you living your life? DOES thinking about the past get in the way? Maybe if I don’t do it so much it will be okay. DO I do it so much- the thinking?

It’s like you’re in a PE class playing a great game of basketball, soccer, football, badminton, etc. And you’re playing a really intense match and it’s tied 10 to 10- last point wins. And the next thing you know you’re forced to stop playing, wanting to know the outcome but then you’ll never know. It’s kind of like that. Or maybe like losing a shitload of cash in a wallet:

My happiness is gone and now some other person/ people are having fun with it.. and I’m all miserable now.”

I should try not to make my whole life about feeling screwed over or ignored so much. There are people in my life, in YOUR life, who are always gonna be there for you (I hope) and you and I should appreciate them because they’re worth it and they’d never screw you over to the point where you’re always angry at them or you never see them again. Don’t take those ppl for granted.

Life is hard though, and therefore depressing. Take it one day at a time though. Sadness and Happiness come and go, but unconditional love is forever, my friend…

Have a nice life.


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