FUCK THIS SHIT

Posted: May 18, 2010 in Uncategorized

Too much shit for everyone to deal with. My people are stressed out; not just me. My people are afriad, not just me. I have time but my people do not.

Too much noise being made. Too much commotion; this is supposed to be a library. Papers are being typed; computers are being waited for.

Sometimes I just feel like knocking the shit out of everything fucking around me you know? WHAT THE FUCK.

I’m not stressed I’m just overwhelmed by distractions, distractions in this room and in this world. Too much useless shit going on!!

DAmNYOIUDAMN YDOUD SHOSNAJSPKSSO

When I’m mad, I hate it when people laugh or seem happy. I don’t know why it is I feel a sense of resentment when I should just feel jealousy or some shit. Sometimes I’m jealous of the braindead or those who can’t think right, or people in office or in porno movies because they’re whole lives are one whole escape route; but I bet it’s far from the fucking truth. Isn’t everything…

bREAKTIMNEEEE
EXHALLLLLLE- I wait for the final exhales of humanity. Have you every had a series of exams or dealing w/ annoying ass people and one day or after a while they let you go. And you exhaled and couldn’t think of anything. When will be the last time you inhale and exhale? THat exhaling feeling should last FOREVERRRR MOMMMA….

I’m happy loner-type person that must learn how to perform the Heimlich manuever on myself. I’m happy this way. It’s not just the independence. When you’re alone, there aren’t many people around to bother you. But when you’re alone when you shouldn’t be you feel vulnerable scared, neglected and so forth, left out while everyone is with someone else.

I don’t want to waste my time looking for love in other people who aren’t very wise decision makers. I rather just focus on schoolwork and stuff for the meanwhile, falling in love is bound to happen, even if I die I bet love is out there; if not with a human then with the Lord.

I always end up doing people favors, even when I don’t want to and when it kills my time when I should really be working on my 10 page poli sci paper.

I need to look at the CHOICES BOOK FOR SOURCES ON PUBLIC AND VOTING

I have a paragraph on voting turn out, but I need more in terms of whether the public cares or not, and stuff like…

Idk but blogging helps sort out my assignment’s complex prompts.

Why do some people feel like their cellular telephones are their kidneys “Do whatever you want, but watch my.. phoooooooooooonnne.. phoonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnne!”

I do people favors partly just to say I did people favors. I also do favors to forget about my own life, and I guess to help people out and what not. I’m a servant to the public, but I hope I’m never a servant to corporations. And I thought pimps weren’t CEOS with lobbysists as their prostitutes and Senators as their “johns.”

blahblahalabagalabblahblahblahblahablahalanbahlnbhlahablhahabnblahblahbblahanblahblah blaha

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Have you ever been alone in your house and started wanking off because you figured people usually enter when you start wanking off. Only this time you wank off just so the keys would turn the door knob so it’s as if your wanking off triggered them to come so you wouldn’t be so lonely?

Or if someone tells you to watch their stuff and then they dont come back for a while, and you want them to. So you figure if you look through their phone or bag they’ll appear and thus you won’t have to wait for them???
ANYONE??

Anyway, I think we should be able to compliment people without feeling stupid or cheesy, because we really mean it sometimes. My friend, whom I’ll call Sarah Palin (she really is a friend; not an aquaintance or someone I ‘know’) was nervous about a date she had with some guy. And she asked me how I looked and made a funny face, but she said not to lie to her. I said something like: Why would I have to lie to tell you that you look so beautiful?” I really did mean it. Looking back I should’ve said something like :” You’re one of the most beautiful people in the world.” I really would have meant it if I said it. I REALLY would have. And she asked me if I lied and I said “I’d never lie to you.” Which is kind of a lie because everyone lies to everyone, even to themselves in order to justify weird behaviors. But I wasn’t lying about how she was beautiful. She really is, which is strange because why would she ask if she looks beautiful if she is beautiful?

And there are other times where I see random women on the street (not hookers though) and I just want to tell them how beautiful they look because they really do and they should know how people feel when it comes to that type of stuff. But some stuff holds me back.

What you ask? Awkwardness. I don’t want them to feel awkward and say ‘OOOOOOOO… KAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY?” They should say:
“AWWWWWW WELL THAAAAANKKKKKKK YOU.” But I shouldn’t try to come up with what they should say; they have the right to say whatever the fuck they want, but try not to be mean to me for complimenting you. Which is a delusion I have but never will happen.

I’m such a pushover. Why? Because I’m really scared of God and karma and stuff! For example: I get this email which I misread at first. It says:

What’s up this is Donnie from your Political science class I have not been to class in i wanted to know did you know what any of the 8 reasonable theories on power were??

what the fuck do i do?? I don’t even know the guy. I can’t leave him hanging, I’d feel guilty and responsible for his grade. He wasn’t in class, but how do i know he wasn’t in some accident.

Anyway, I’m just going to tell him everything is on the packet and that he missed important ass videos. I can’t just tell him what the videos were about its not fair to the opther guys!!

But if I don’t tell him then what??? Will I get my financial aid if I don’t??? WHY IS THE WORLD SO CONFUSINGGGGGGG!!

Anyway; I replied to that question:

Just look at pages 1-4 on the xerox packet; they’re written there. How many days did you not show up to class? We covered these theories on the first few days of class though. We also saw a lot of films which we need to source on our 2nd paper. You should really talk to the professor if you weren’t there. I wish I knew how I can help you…

I lied when I wrote the last sentence. I din’t want to know how to help him, I just wanted him to not ask others for something he could very well figure out on his own; which what professors say all the time.

There.

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