Dear soulmate,

Posted: August 27, 2010 in Uncategorized

Leave me alone you make my life not worth living.

I’m feeling so sick right now, I’m probably going to ask a girl out on a date. I think there’s something wrong with me, I swear. I’ve never heard of anyone get this sick over asking someone on a date. I deep down inside never want to be with anyone, even though I do want to. But I feel like it’s something I’d do only because my culture embraces it and shit.

I’m not even that into her; she seems like more of a symbol of something. I don’t really find her interior self that attractive and should probably leave her alone because of this. It’s just she needs an answer to:

“We should definitely hang out..
Aaww thnks, you are a wonderful person too.”

It’s the kind of thing that wants a response. The weird part is I just don’t communicate with her well, or even at all, when I talk to her. I doubt she’s superficial, it’s just that not everyone talks about the same things.

as my soulmate that probably doesn’t even exist because this generation/ society is so shallow, I need to tell you I’d be too afraid to ever come into contact with you, which is the main reason why I think you’re not real. If you were to prove me wrong, so you would to 10 000 years of civilization by going up to me and shit.

I’m just not good enough for you, her, or any girl I find attractive in any level be it physically emotionally or intellectually. It’s my and a bunch of girls who teased me in elementary school’s fault. You have to believe me. You just have to believe that my personal goals that are mostly directed to civilization are a result of that shit. It always is.

Anyway, I’m starting to sound VERY annoying; I read some imdb (internet movie database) on Megan Fox and her quotes came out to be very pretentious even though she said in one she didn’t mean it that way and I’m SURE they were taken out of context.

This is what I’ll tell the girl I’m not sure if I like about ‘hanging out.’ What does that even mean? I hate deciphering what people really mean!! I write vaguely to and it’s because I feel ‘not worthy’ and I wonder if she feels the same way. But I need to remember that I can’t assume I want to like her and shit cuz that’s when things get REALLY awkward. It’s happened before. And with HER too!

We could do something this or next week if you’re not doing anything. I know classes start towards the end of the month.

Have you heard of the Mexican restaurant La Cabana? I’ve gone there only once or twice, and it’d be my honor to show you around.

I was going to write her that but it’s just too damn obvious. I don’t want it to make it sound like a date because well I want to never have gone on one. And this would ruin it. But dates are so beautiful. But yucky for me. I TOLD you there’s something not right with me! I’m still a child when it comes to this stuff.

I’m not the kind of person that would say “yo then hit me up for whenever”

I, in my heart, want to tell her that I want to eat at a restaurant with her so we can get to know each other better and that I really want to give it to her doggy style at this motel that’s only a block away from the place. And I want to tell her that I’m not sure if I like her because I don’t think we communicate effectively with each other and that I don’t have a car, which is why I chose the place; it’s walking distance from my house.

I’m such a horrible person. I just want to be honest with people but be polite at the same time and there’s no negotiating with myself!

I suck!

This is what I just sent her:

“We can do something this or next week if you’re not doing anything; don’t worry; I haven’t deleted your phone number. I know classes start toward the end of the month.

Have you heard of the Mexican restaurant La Cabana? I’ve gone there only once or twice and it was a nice place; It’s in Venice. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I want to talk to you because I don’t get to talk to you that much.

Does that sound okay with you?? “

I feel really young right now for some reason. Like a teenager.

  1. John says:

    Did I really do this shit?!?! Did I really send that to her? Disgusting!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s