Ughhh

Posted: August 31, 2010 in Uncategorized

I’m not sure why, but I feel psychologically uncomfortable right now.

It’s a combination of a lot of things. I rode my bike pretty far, and on my way there while I parked my bike and bough lunch, someone jacked my water bottle! And my Joker charm!

And to top that, I was in the library and this lady starts talking to herself all angry and making noises and the negativity was demon-like and spread to me. And I come back home to a house where there’s always some noise to be heard and it just feels uncomfortable in my head anyway.

It’s weird because it feels as if I can’t control it, as if it just infiltrated my mind when it wanted to. Usually I wouldn’t feel so bummed out about those minor events. The water bottle was free and that Joker charm was stolen anyway…

And then, I’ll call him Freddy, calls to tell me that he wanted to know when his class starts and I had told him! He sounded like he was on drugs, and not the natural kind either, which bothered me because I honestly just want to be peaceful today but I can’t. I feel so guilty about not wanting to micro-manage Freddy.

I don’t know what I want.

Incidentally, I am listening to “Smoke and Mirrors” by Symphony X; I also liked their song “Egypt” and “Of Sins and Shadows.”

I’m not sure if their music is Satanic, but it has nice instrumental pieces.

I can’t always feel comfortable. At least my brain’s working right by feeling out of balance???

Anyway, I’ll be good. I tend to feel guilty a lot when I shouldn’t be, and not guilty when I should be.

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