I’m scared

Posted: September 15, 2010 in Uncategorized

I hate to admit how much I fear life, but I really do.

The thing is, I have faith and am brave in these greater categories that most people are afraid of: heights, the dentist, public speaking, spiders; however, I fear a lot of things that I feel many people don’t. But I hope they do, because it helps to know some one or some twos or three can relate…

I’m afraid of what people think of me. I am a very identity conscious person, and I tend to think too much about how to be myself when I go into certain situations…

I fear that feeling of missing people. Or the feeling of not being strong enough to move on. I fear myself; I really do.

I get so scared of the future that I forget how perfect the present is. It’s strange though, I really DO think about myself in excess. I imagine people having conversations about how special or cool I am or dance. A lot of the music I listen to is supplementary to my imaginative escapes where I am in a movie or real life doing cool stuff. I do this to live my dreams that I do not want to transform into reality.

I hope you understand everything I am telling you, and aren’t judging me on what I have written these past years. I just hope you can relate. Thank you for reading all my shit.

Although I don’t make these public in any way, I’m sure at least one person will run into these blogs and read them when they/ you can and I thank you and hope everything you are a part of is going well.

Thank you. And sorry for being so scared all the time. I hope you understand…

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