Dear God,

Posted: September 28, 2010 in Uncategorized

I haven’t prayed or talked to You in a while. My purpose of writing this to You is so I can communicate with You more. I guess everything has been going well and I don’t want you to think I only think about You when I’m in distress.

It’s weird when I don’t feel connected to You. When I do, I feel this love that dissapates throughout the people around me. I just love Your children so much and lately I have been feeling quite judgmental and biased, thinking about how many people may feel preoccupied about their looks or other things. I just want to love people because it is a good thing to do. It makes You happy and You’ve done so much for me without asking for much in return.

It’s just weird because as I write all of these things to You it feels as if I’m trying to suck up to You or something, and I don’t want that to be true. I just want You to know that I don’t want to take You for granted and to love my brothers and sisters more and not let fear get in the way.

Because with You in my heart fear is just a concept and not a reality. It’s something that thinks about what MAY happen but not what DOES happen. What does happen is a positive thing and fear prevents me from connecting to other people. Insecurities and self-esteem issues also seem to get in the way.

I just want You to know that I really want to be closer to You and however way I can be a more loving person in my actions and in my heart and mind, because it is hard to feel that way now. I guess this place doesn’t really feel like the real world, since it is a school thing. But that’s no excuse. Please be with me God. I am not liking the way I have been feeling because it does not treat people well and Your kids are so cute and I love to see em all cool-ish but in a good way.

Thank you. I love You. I love You so much and I hope You can forgive me. I just can’t help but think about all the things You may have been through- all the pain and sin in this world and injustices that plague Your world. I just want You to be happy because You do so much and expect so little. I hope I can gather the courage to be more loving to Your children. Especially ones at this school. I’m sorry I get so intimidated. I just hope You can help me with that. Sorry again n I love You, God. Thank you for everything.

Sincerely,

John

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