Archive for October, 2010

Phuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Posted: October 22, 2010 in Uncategorized

Oh man, I’m working on this paper that’s due tomorrow morning. But I have realized that the prof. pretty much said we just have to show we understand the material. beasically the instructions were to explain the quote and indicate how it reflects the theoretical approach and central concerns of the author .

so lets say marx was like rich ppl smell like shit. i would have to be like, marx meant that the smell of rich ppl were horrible. and then i would go on saying what the hell that had to so with his general theory.

but anyway, this blog is a timeline of sorts that hopefully doesnt end at 8:50 am on the 22nd. Hopefully it ends in an hour or less.

I CAN DO THIS.

I hope my teacher isn’t the kind that gives ppl a B just to idk be a lil bitch. Some teachers just don’t give a fuck about you and just put a B for whatever reason even if it is an A paper. FUCK.

I’m STILL on Durkheim. WTF DURKHEIM WITH YOUR LONG ASS IDEAS THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING THAT CAN BE WRITTEN IN A SENTENCE: PPL ARE SUPER HORNY IN ALL ASPECTS OF LIFE AND SHIT. PEOPLE ARE WEIRD SO SOCIETY TAKES GOOD CARE OF EM WITH VALUES TO SET EM STR8

Asshole. Hey, Durk, did you know we’d be studying you wehen you studied people killing themselves? I think you werelike the department chair at some french school who was the first to have soc. a serious deal.

i wonder how the world woudl be without soc. Shubham knows nothing about sociology, which was what i said at age 18 n younger. I tought it was about one group shit. well, kinda, taht’s the thing. there’s no point in studying. It gets too complicated when it comes to simple concepts. there’s really no point in studying. they got everythning but probably said: hey we finished so let’s just make shit up so we can keep teaching this bullshit. I know let’s stufy crazy ppl killing themselves and say it’s societies collective concioius fault. That’ll teach those assholes at South campus!

FUCK! I CAN DO RHIS

OH THE HUMANITY!! ONLY 50 words allowed for durkheim and I have yet to explain the anomy part!

I HATE THIS IVE BEEN WORKING ON DURKHEIM FOR TWO HOURS
IT TOOK ME ONLY 45 MIN TO FINISH- FINISH!- MARX.

FUCKEN DURKHEIM

YAY DONE WITH DURKHEIM!!

NOW to move onto WEBER, THE LAST DUDE
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
I feel sort of burned out. Tired of being on a computer. Maybe I DO need a break after all…

yeah i dont even want to look at webers bitch ass right now.

YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU MAX AND YOUR CRAZY SELF. YOU KNOW I LOVE YOUR THOUGHTS ON LEGITAMITE AUTHORITY!

OH MAN THIS CAFFEINE THIS CAFFEINE ITS WEIRD HOW SLOW MY BRAIN IS WORKING YET MY FINGERS ARE ON FIRE. Grrrrrrr

How am I going to do this. Let me look at my notes. I got to do this for my ppl for freedom. I can;t be fucking up;

ugh it is so hard to continue. Shoud I head back to the dorm now???

Let’s just do one quote and save the last one for the dorm…

`WORST IDEA EVER. I’m in the dorm it’s an hour and a half till. how am i gonna fucken do this shit

Letter to the Government

Posted: October 14, 2010 in Uncategorized

Note: this is not a letter to the government. My purposeof this blog is to make note of a letter or series of letters I will write to the United States Government. In this letter I will instill a fear in whoever reads it provided they know what I want and how badly they have been preventing this to happen.

I am in no way shape or form insinuating a threat to any officials life, nor any human beings life for that matter. I just want my world back, I want my reality back.

The Constitution allows me to seek happiness and by all costs I will do this, even though descendents of its author are not letting this happen.

That being said, I am gonna write a letter.

Soshalogy: First Assignment

Posted: October 12, 2010 in Uncategorized

As opposed to mindlessly rambling on and on about how many attractive and seemingly absent minded the majori of the girls are at this fine institution, I am going to acually try and get some work done here:

This document contains a selection of quotations which you should study carefully making sure that you recognize who wrote them and what they signify. They are taken from the readings in part 1 of the course reader and they have been chosen to bring forth an understanding of the text. A selection of these quotes will appear in the first assignment. It will be beneficial therefore to identify now where they are located in the text and to write a summary in your own words of what the quote illustrates of the theoretical arguments of the author. Once you identify their location, carefully read the surrounding text as this will be of great value in advancing your comprehension. Do more than this. Use your textbook to explore their meaning more deeply. Since some of these particular quotes will appear in the assignment, do not be surprised if the instructor /TAs are unwilling to define their meaning with detailed precision. This is not to say that you should avoid all discussion of them, it might be very useful to use them to stimulate debate in class as this will expand your understanding.

So I am not exactly sure WHEN this is due but I’m guessing in about two weeks, which may coincide with my Soc M17 and His M104 class. So, for now, I’m gonna vomit all these quotes and identify the quotee (??).

MARX
Extract 1 “The bourgeoisie during its rule of scarce one 100 years has created more massive and more colossal productive forces than have all preceding generations together. Subjection of nature’s forces to man, machinery, application of chemistry to industry and agriculture, steam navigation, railways, electric telegraphs, clearing of old continents for cultivation, canalization of rivers, whole populations conjured up out of the ground, — what earlier century had even a pre-sentiment that such productive forces slumbered in the lap of social labor?”

MARX
Extract 2. “In proportion as the bourgeoisie, i.e. capital, is developed, in the same proportion is the proletariat, the modern working class, developed – a class of laborers, who live only so long as they find work, and who find work, only so long as their labor increases capital. These laborers, who must sell themselves piecemeal, are a commodity, like every other article of commerce, and are consequently exposed to all the vicissitudes of competition, to all the fluctuations of the market’.

MARX
Extract 3 “The bourgeoisie, by the rapid improvement of all instruments of production, by the immensely facilitated means of communication, draws all, even the most barbarian, nations into civilization. The cheap prices of commodities are the heavy artillery with which it forces the barbarians’ intensely obstinate hatred of foreigners to capitulate. It compels all nations, on pain of extinction, to adopt the bourgeois mode of production; it compels them to introduce what it calls civilization into their midst, i.e., to become bourgeois themselves. In one word, it creates a world after its own image

MARX
Extract 4 . “The bourgeoisie cannot exist without constantly revolutionizing the instruments of production, and thereby the relations of production, and with them the whole relations of society. Conservation of the old modes of production in unaltered form, was, on the contrary, the first condition of existence for all earlier industrial classes. Constant revolutionizing of production, uninterrupted disturbance of all social conditions, everlasting uncertainty and agitation distinguish the bourgeois epoch from all earlier ones. All fixed, fast frozen relations, with their train of ancient and venerable prejudices and opinions, are swept away, all new-formed ones become antiquated before they can ossify. All that is solid melts into air, all that is holy is profaned, and man is at last compelled to face with sober senses his real condition of life and his relations with his kind.”

MARX
Extract 5. The need of a constantly expanding market …. chases the bourgeoisie over the entire surface of the globe. It must nestle everywhere, settle everywhere, establish connections everywhere. The bourgeoisie has, through its exploitation of the world market, given a cosmopolitan character to production and consumption in every country.

MARX
Extract 6. ‘”The bourgeoisie, wherever it has got the upper hand, has put an end to all feudal, patriarchal, idyllic relations. It has pitilessly torn asunder the motley feudal ties that bound man to his “natural superiors”, and has left no other nexus between people than naked self-interest, than callous cash payment…….. It has drowned out the most heavenly ecstasies of religious fervor, of chivalrous enthusiasm, of philistine sentimentalism, in the icy water of egotistical calculation. It has resolved personal worth into exchange value, and in place of the numberless indefeasible chartered freedoms, has set up that single, unconscionable freedom – Free Trade. In one word, for exploitation, veiled by religious and political illusions, it has substituted naked, shameless, direct, brutal exploitation”.

MARX
Extract 7 “.. with the development of industry, the proletariat not only increases in number; it becomes concentrated in greater masses, its strength grows and it feels that strength more. The various interests and conditions of life within the ranks of the proletariat are more and more equalized, in proportion as machinery obliterates all distinctions of labor, and nearly everywhere reduces wages to the same low level…………”

MARX
Extract 8 “ …. here it becomes evident that the bourgeoisie is unfit any longer to be the ruling class in society, and to impose its conditions of existence upon society as an overriding law. It is unfit to rule because it is incompetent to assure an existence to its slave within his slavery, because it cannot help letting him sink into such a state, that it has to feed him instead of being fed by him. Society can no longer live under this bourgeoisie, in other words, its existence is no longer compatible with society.’

DURKHEIM
Extract 9 “… there is in every society, a certain group of phenomena which may be differentiated from those studied by the other natural sciences. When I fulfill my obligations as brother, husband or cirtizen, when I execute my contract, I perform duties which are defined externally to myself and my acts, in law and in custom. Even if they conform to my own sentiments and I feel their reality subjectively, such reality is still objective.”

DURKHEIM
Extract 10 “ It is true that, when we define them with this word ‘constraint’, we risk shocking the zealous partisans of absolute individualism. For those who profess the complete autonomy of the individual, man’s dignity is diminished whenever he is made to feel that he is no. t completely self determinant. It is generally accepted that most of our ideas and our tendencies are not developed by ourselves but come to us from without . How can they become part of us without imposing themselves upon us?”

Extract 11 “Considering the facts as they are and as they have always been, it becomes immediately evident that all education is a continuous effort to impose on the child ways of seeing, feeling and acting which he would not have arrived at spontaneously. ……. If, in time, this constraint ceases to be felt, it is because it gradually gives rise to habits and to internal tendencies that render constraint unnecessary…’

Extract 12 “The objection may be raised that a phenomenon is collective only if it is common to all members of society, or at least to most of them – in other words, if it is truly general. This may be true, but it is general because it is collective (that is, more or less obligatory) and certainly not collective because it is general. “

DURKHEIM
Extract 13 “Crime is, then, necessary; it is bound up with the fundamental conditions of all social life, and by that very fact it is useful because these conditions of which it is a part are themselves indispensable to the normal evolution of morality and law”.14

DURKHEIM
Extract 14 “ It is not human nature that can assign the variable limits necessary to our needs. They are thus unlimited so far as it is left to the individual alone. Irrespective of any external regulating force, our capacity for sensation is an insatiable bottomless abyss .“

Extract 15 “What proves still more conclusively that economic distress does not have the same aggravating influrnce often attributed to it, is that it trends rather to produce the opposite effect. There is very little suicide in Ireland, where the peasantry leads so wretched a life. Poverty stricken Calabria has almost no suicides; Spain has a 10th as many as France. Poverty may even be considered a protection. In the various French departments, the more people there are with independent means, the more numerous are the suicides.

DURKHEIM
Extract 16 ‘ No living being can be happy or even exist unless his needs are sufficiently proportioned to his means. In other words, if his needs require more than can be granted, or even merely something of a different sort, they will be under continual friction and can only function painfully………… But how to determine the quantity of well being, comfort or luxury legitimately carved by a human being? Nothing appear in man’s organic nor even in his psychological constitution which sets a limit to such tendencies. The functioning of individual life does not require them to cease at one point rather than another ; the proof being that they have increased since the beginnings of history, receiving more and more satisfaction, yet with no weakening of average health. Above all, how to establish their proper variation with different conditions of life, occupations, relative importance of services etc? In no society are they equally satisfied in the different stages of the social hierarchy. Yet human nature is substantially the same among all men, in is essential qualities. It is not human nature which can assign the variable limits to our needs. They are thus unlimited so far as they depend on the individual alone. Irrespective of any external regulatory force, our capacity for feeling is in itself, an insatiable and bottomless abyss. ‘

DURKHEIM
Extract 17 “All existence being part of the universe is relative to the remainder; its nature and method of manifestation accordingly depend not only on itself but on other beings, who consequently restrain and regulate it. Here there are only differences of degree and form between the mineral realm and the thinking person. Man’s characteristic privilege is that the bond he accepts is not physical but moral; that is, social. He is governed not by a material environment brutally imposed upon him but by a conscience superior to his own, the superiority of which he feels. “

Extract 18. “ Experience shows that in no instance does domination voluntarily limit itself to the appeal to material or affectual or ideal motives as a basis for its continuance. In additional every such system attempts to establish and to cultivate the belief in its legitimacy.

Extract 19 ‘So far as his action follows principles at all, they a ethical common sense, of equity, or of utilitarian expediency. They are not formal principles, as in the case of legal authority. The exercise of power is oriented toward the consideration of how far master and staff can go in view of the subject’s traditional compliance without arousing resistance. When resistance is aroused, it is directed against the master or his servant personally, the accusation being that he failed to observe the traditional limits of his power.”

Extract 20 “ It is the recognition on those subject to the authority which is decisive for the validity o charisma. This recognition is freely given and guaranteed by what is held to be a proof, originally always a miracle, and consists in devotion to the corresponding revelation, hero worship, or absolute trust in the leader. But where charisma is genuine, it is not this which is the basis of the claim to legitimacy. This basis lies rather in the conception that it is the duty of those subject to charismatic authority to recognize its genuineness and to act accordingly. Psychologically, this is a matter of complete personal devotion to the possessor of the quality, arising out of enthusiasm, or of despair and hope.”

Extract 21 “The decisive reason for the advance of bureaucratic organization has always been its purely technical superiority over any other kind of organization. The fully developed bureaucratic mechanism compares with other organizations exactly as does the machine with the non mechanical modes of organization……Precision, speed, un-ambiguity, knowledge of the files, continuity, discretion, unity, strict subordination, reduction of friction and of material and personal costs these are raised to the optimum point in the strictly bureaucratic organization……

Extract 22 ‘The peculiarity of modern culture, and specifically of this technical and economic basis, demands this very calculability of results. …… Without regard for persons, Bureaucracy develops the more perfectly the more it is ‘dehumanized,’ the more completely it succeeds in eliminating from official business love, hatred, and all purely personal, irrational and emotional elements which escape calculation. This is the specific nature of bureaucracy and it is appraised as its special virtue”

Extract 23 “The calculability of decision-making] and with it its appropriateness for capitalism . . [is] the more fully realized the more bureaucracy “depersonalizes” itself, i.e., the more completely it succeeds in achieving the exclusion of love, hatred, and every purely personal, especially irrational and incalculable, feeling from the execution of official tasks. In the place of the old-type ruler who is moved by sympathy, favor, grace, and gratitude, modern culture requires for its sustaining external apparatus the emotionally detached, and hence rigorously “professional” expert.”

Extract 24 “ Such an apparatus makes ‘revolution’ in the sense of a forceful creation of entirely new forms of authority, more and more impossible – technically because of its control over the modern means of communication( telegraph etc) and also because of its increasingly rationalized inner structure. “

THE TENSION IS KILLING ME

Posted: October 11, 2010 in Uncategorized

The most horrible facet in my life is this angst or uncertainty I feel within myself. My life has always been absolutely perfect, but I suck! I feel this thought machine in my brain generation all this ‘gghuuueeeuueeghhh” ness inside me and it tampers with my day.

It feels like swallowing a hard bean. You know you’ll be fine but what if it does something. But it’s not the bean that’s making you crazy it’s you that’s making you go crazy.

this financial situation is making me, well a lot of people, go crazy. I do not have enough money to pay for this whole dorm shit. and the housing department is really vague when it deals with consequences and that kind of shit makes my mind mind drive me absolutely INSANE!!!

Please remit payment within the next seven (7) days by 7 a.m. from the date of this notice to avoid further action.

I don’t want to apply for that parent loan; my parents (my mom) can’t afford this shit and my dad is to greedy to admit that he can! So wtf??

And I guess it IS my fault for requesting housing when more or less I know I can’t afford education but like… who CAN?

Anyway, I have seven days to avoid further action/ get my check in the mail so I’ll worry about it then. BUT I REALLY WILL THIS TIME!

Anyway, I need to stop being scared for now. I also need to just set goals with my body and not care so much about looking a certain way. I hate that I haven’t learned this shit still. I’ve come to that conclusion. I just haven’t lived by it; you know what I mean?

The Gym AKA Hell

Posted: October 8, 2010 in Uncategorized

Back at Gold’s Gym and even here at the JWC the whole lifting thing is strange for me. Don’t get me wrong it’s a LOT of fun for me, but it’s just that I don’t like how I have to critique everyone else’s performance and let that feed into some kind of psychological state that will in turn give me energy; it’s despicable!

Rather I should go to the gym and exercise my mind and challenge MY self and MY limits rather than trying to heighten my self-worth at the expensive others or pleasure at the hands of degrading the soul of another human being. For in the end the real one that becomes hurt is the oppressor. The ones who have gone through pain and unjust punishment will be happy in the end knowing they were loving and yes they were hurt by others but they realized how much they kept moving, not having to initiate that cycle. I wish to be that way.

I just want to go to the gym and not stare at what everyone else is doing. I want to know that my purpose of going there is to learn something about myself. So I shall. I will stay with God and when looking at people doing something, I will look up at the ceiling and tell Him:

“Isn’t she beautiful?” or “Isn’t he great?”

If I claim to not be judgmental to groups of people then why am I so judgmental to individuals. For my view of individual people adds up to a group of individuals. And that’s not fair. They’re kind inside.

You know what I find to be remarkable for my heart? People are very loving, but they may have a very hard time showing that side of themselves because maybe they just have a fear for these things. It’s strange really; the fear is REALLY intense, esp. for me. I think, however, that people aren’t so bad. You just have to be the right person. Not everyone will like you, but that doesn’t mean they’ll hurt or disrespect you.

And for those who do, they just have their hearts in the wrong place but still have good hearts indeed. Evryone’s got to love SOMEONE, be it their mother, siblings, friends, and so on. Even though someone may be mean to me deliberately (which is rare) they at least are nice to SOMEONE in their life.

I get passive with that type of though; I’m just not a fighter and if some guy were to slap me, let’s say while I was talking to a girl I liked, I would do nothing. Maybe I’d ask him why he slapped me, but I would never hurt him back. I guess I just wasn’t wired to. Am I supposed to prove myself or something.

To be honest I rather just lift a lot of weight so I would just seem like I fight, or maybe I should actually learn to fight for self-defense.

Anywho, I’m tired and thinking about not going to the gym. Maybe I should just go for a walk instead?? I probably will end up going for a walk out into Westwood. Maybe I’ll go see a film.

I love God. He loves people no matter what can you imagine? And he isn’t mean when you think in a mean way about others. he wants me to change because with judgment comes an awful feeling inside. A feelingof deep guilt, uncertainty, insecurity and fear.

It’s very difficult to not judge people, I guess it just takes practice and knowing that deep down inside people are very kind and some are quite misunderstood. A lot of people are born into a dangerous environment where they must turn violent in order to stay alive The fault is not their own in circumstances rather the structures in which political and economic lords create in order to maintain the means of production.

It’s all about power, remember?

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN IN THE LAST 10 MILLENIA??IN THE FORESTS???

The first step, at least for me, is remembering. Remembering how many times I was proven wrong. Time after time after time after time.

God,

Posted: October 7, 2010 in Uncategorized

I love you for always being there for me. My problems went away because I put my faith in Your hands and keep steadfast in my personal faith.

The thing about faith is that even though it’s universal for everyone, my definition or use of the word is different than how most Christians or non-believers use it. People who don’t believe in God see faith as believing in something that is not based on fact or empirical data. And some Christians or Catholics or pretty much anyone with a religion say faith is some kind of LEAP or may use a connotation that may explain that faith is taking some sort of risk and just going with that.

I see faith as some sort of feeling that no matter what, the end result will be good, if you fail or succeed. It is realizing that you can’t really lose, because everything is and always will be permanently etched in time and space. Faith is something to be had about things that are out of your control.

You can’t really have faith that you’ll get an A on your Ancient Near East Exam, but you can have faith that you will try very hard and do your best, which in turn can only give you a great mark on your test.

I can only have faith in God, myself, and His children. I can’t have faith that a snake won’t snap at me and poison me; I shouldn’t have been messing with in the first place and well I’m dead in that case. Faith comes with pre-requisites and junk. You can’t just ask for it and expect to get it just like that. You know why? Cuz faith doesn’t really work. It breaks and you have to fix it by just believing. You take a broken alarm clock and stare at it until it works. I think that’s what faith is. Its foundation is failure and doubt and without it I don’t think you can have faith.

What I mean by that is that you have to be aware that what you’re getting into is highly HIGHLY unlikely and in a way tests how badly you want it or if it’s best for you. I think that’s why not many people win the lottery, because they don’t really need that money. It’d just rot their hearts.

But miracles, which I’ve only experienced once, take forever and faith is sticking to something no matter what. I’ll repeat that: STICKING TO IT NO MATTER WHAT. Like when you give a long ass speech and get shot. Right when you’re about to die, you realize that you’ll come right back up outta that grave.

That’s faith for ya. Never dies

Love You GOD!!!

Sincerely,

John

I’m too lazy to write in my journal right now.

Today is just starting but I guess tehcinically yesterday I went to the LA Decomp. of Burning Man it was great but short lived considering I arrived like 3 hours early.

Anyway, I met this girl who goes to this school. i guess she’s pretty but I rather be her friend because relationships aren’t really my thing, I THINK. The reason I write that is that maybe someone I really care about could read this. And I would only consider a relationship with some girl if it were her, or if she rejected me and I genuinely liked another girl and not to fulfill some psychologically/ sociologically implemented void but to you know make her feel special and happy.

I have to write so much I’m so glad I have this blog. The Decomp. was great. Too tired to go into great detail but like I said it was short lived, but I met a great person that I hope I keep in touch with. I suck with keeping in touch with. And that’s another thing. I think too much. And this girl, she’s kind of pretty inside and outside but like I said, I don’t mind just being her friend because there is someone really special out there that I really care about and I rather not like anyone else. But I should keep in touch with that chick, because she was cool and she goes to this school.

Anyway, speaking of that type of shit, I MIGHT have a secret admirer, unless it’s for Garret or Chak or if it’s a practical joke. I always when I think it’s me second guess it and come up with realities that are probably false, to prevent myself from being hurt but it helps to take risks.

Why couldn’t they tell me there name. Now I’m going to have to do creepy shit. The note that was left was left in my question box and I can easily pull out old answer archives and put two and two together with the handwriting or go around looking into room for red pens…
I’m tired as hell. Need to read like 75 pages tomorrow FROM ONE CLASS AND THEN WRITE A ONE PAGE PAPER FOR ANOTHER AND DO SOME OTHER HOMEWORK DUE TOMORROW NIGHT YES AT NIGHT SHE MAKES US TURN EM IN!

“I can’t say it in a nice way because the idea itself isn’t nice.”