Posted: January 8, 2011 in Uncategorized

I know it may seem like I don’t have any friends, because i don’t mention friends, but I have many people who care about me and that I love and care about.

And I liked talking to them because sometimes the people you see everyday have a certain distance and there are certain things you’ll hold back, you know?

I just think that in terms of what I want to be happy, I don’t think that friends are the ultimate goal or even have to deal with a goal. They are people you can share things with, and people that will put up with you or something, and that know you well.

It seems ideal for me to want everyone to be friends or everyone to like and click with everyone, but maybe even in a next to perfect world that wouldn’t happen. I think we gravitate to certain people because we see certain things in the same way. And it’s hard to be ourselves with some people because they don’t get it, but not because they choose not to, but because they can’t. A really good person tries to get it until they reailze that they can’t, but will at least show respect and friendliness to a person.

I try to be friendly regardless if I like someone or not, or at least polite and kind. I know it sounds like it’s a contradictary way of looking at things, but it’s really not. Anyone at my school, on the street, etc. deserves respectno matter who they are, if they’re gay; black; rich, poor, middle; tall or short.

It’s common for someone to feel uncomfortable or not click with these types of people, but to disrespect or dehumanize someone is the worst thing you could ever do.

Anyway, I was talking today to them about the whole different people at my school and how it’s hard to approach them, but it’s hard to relate to them, because of our differences. But deep down, I know we’re all the same. But it’s still hard, you know? I can’t seem to click with the hegemony. It’s a sad reality, and an even a sadder reflection of how we get categorized and separated. I just wish I can break free and go up to people, for they feel the exact same way. But I know better.

I hope I can learn to not question my motivations for talking to some girl that is the hegemony in my culture; I’ve done it before and that person is one of the most special people I have ever met.

I just want to see how many different kinds of people see things, and unfortunately race and class gets in the way. This is very sad how we become divided, and these divisions get divided and divided. If this keeps on going the way it does, then… how far will it go? Just everyone as their own person, no group at all, no family? How can that be possible?

I have faith in God, I find my strength in Him to love myself and others, and for the right reasons. It’s not how long I live, it’s what happens in that amount of time. I rather liver a shorter life where i wasn’t worrying about dying, then live 1000 years of wanting to get a year older, and those sacrifices.

A big fear of mine is dying, or not accomplishing my goals, but there’s no such thing as me not accomplishing a big goal.

Friends are people you’re not scared to talk to, not afraid to text message something. I can’t text that person any longer because it’s midnight.

I’m just grateful i talked to her, and that I’m writing too.


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