Archive for December, 2017

Hey world. How er you doin??


Okay well, it’s obviously the end of the year now. Currently seated at a secure location. You won’t find me. Nehehehe


Well, I guess you can say, my attention span has been reduced by 79% this year. Yours too huh? It’s all this technology! It’s like fucking crack man! I swear, who knows how long I can go constantly on youtube, several financial websites. It’s so enticing!


This year has been pretty big for me, to say the least. Many changes have occured. I have met loads of new people this year with my new job. It is exciting but some days tiring. But overall, I won’t complain! I get paid more, I get to work more hours (about 43 a week). I have also learned a lot. Google, for example, 89% of its revenue comes from its advertising structures.

Much has happened, economically, to both myself and this nation at large. The rise of crypto-currency, the up and coming tax bill. Also, I have managed to pay off my student loans this year! +1

I have managed to complete my fully funded emergency fund! +1

I have also saved 5400 in my Roth IRA! I am 27 years old. +1

It has been a good year. This can only all be executed when one takes like one step at a time. My goal for 2018 is to submit my applications for a PhD program in Sociology. It is my ultimate goal to be a Sociology professor. I have been battling with whether or not I should just stay at the job I have now and just struggle my way to whatever the hell it is that this job leads to.

I have a really neat job, though. I am going to stick to it, and I hope to stay here until I start grad school, which, if everything goes well will occur in the Fall of 2019, or in 2 years. And so, I have to budget for the costs of applying for grad school before I can think about fundingĀ  PhD program. I have to take things one step at a time. I am very good when I do this. The more you try to do, it only makes sense on paper. In reality, you never get to all of it. If you take life one step at a time, and focus all of your resources on that one goal, you will finish it. And you will get to the next step.

I have been fortunate enough to be blessed by the Lord to seek a better life and be able to find one.

Since about the summer of last year, I had tried to get a career in life insurance sales. I know, what was I thinking?! It’s a scummy industry. I only wanted the passive income, which takes about 5 years to like actually have. But I wouldn’t be me. It would be the ultimate cop out for “security.”


The truth is, I feel like I am being called to be a Sociology professor. I feel it’s a part of my anatomy let alone my destiny. I could be wrong, so it’s finally time to actually try and see once and for all. I feel God tells me, to follow my dreams and trust that spectacular things will happen as a result. Fear of freedom will lead only to mediocrity and a life of uncertainty, of thinking one should have done this.

Invest in yourself. Don’t sell yourself short. The world is absurd right now. Think about it. Currency will become like, digital. Maybe one day our entire consciousness will be in a computer while our bodies are frozen. I guess you can say that is what goes on these days, the present days.

I was lucky enough to get this job. In January is when I started to dress fancy so I could be accepted into this whole insurance thing. I really don’t know what I was thinking. Well, as I said before, I wanted the money but I didn’t want to do the work. Your income doesn’t come from a degree, it comes from your job. And so, I know a PhD won’t make me rich. It’s up to me to put myself out there. My goodness, I have changed a lot in the past few years.

Well anyway, I remember earlier this year I would go on the train, every Wednesday to the office in downtown LA, listening to this Kid Cudi Album, or this old B.O.B album from 2010. I remember still paying off my student loans, the very last one actually, starting in January. Almost 100% of my tax refund went to those loans, but it was worth it. It was worth every tummy ache, and worth all those trips in the rain to the bus stop. Wow, that felt so wonderful to write- about all of the sacrifices. Now I know God truly watches us all closely, and gives us what is just. Praise God!


In February I finally became debt free. It was fun. I remember in March/ April/ May is when I started reading East of Eden by John Steinbeck. That was so cool, that was this year. It was an amazing book with an incredible plot. I recommend it to anyone. Around this time I also got a root canal, and finally stopped going to the insurance stuff. I don’t know about that place.

I don’t quite remember when I applied to the company I work for now. I know I started the last week of June, possibly the 23rd. Yes, that’s right. So, I must have applied at the end of May. March through May seems like a blur to me. I know I was reading The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, and I had started reading The Brothers Karamazov (didn’t get to finish it). That is when I landed this job.

Literature and music really helped me. God also helped me rather immensely. And of course, I also helped myself.

It was a lot of work, this year. It rained a lot and there was much I could not do. But alas, see how much you can do when you do nothing at all and just focus on the brunt end of the sword. Oh how it dug into my stomach and ached deeply, as I awaited victory. It was horrid, but that part is all over.

I have a Political Philosophy Exam in a couple of days. I came here for a little bit to just study.

I think everyday has been a good day with some hours being very horrible. That is how life feels like. I feel very optimistic, and that optimism has come about by setting realistic, powerful, and valuable goals for myself, and for finally ridding myself of all forms of popular social media.

This year, I have learned many valuable lessons. But I learned that a boy like me, cannot be compared to his peers. It is a matter of apples to oranges, and so I try not to compare myself anymore, to others my age, because it’s practically impossible. We are just so different. But that does not mean I cannot give nor receive love.

I am a lucky boy. I feel loved. Life is hard.


I am only a victim of myself. Fear hurts people. It cripples us. But only your own fear will grapple, twist, and slam you onto the coarse pavement of the world. And I know only my own pain will hurt me, at the end of this and everyday. If I want good things to happen, I have to do good things. It is just that simple. If I want a PhD, I have to apply for a PhD program, get accepted, and accept the offer, and work my ass off for probably another decade, living below my means for longer. But allow me to list the years left in my life, assuming I live to 80 years old:

2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024, 2025, 2026, 2027, 2028, 2029, 2030, 2031, 2032, 2033, 2034, 2035, 2036, 2037, 2038, 2039, 2040, 2041, 2042, 2043, 2044, 2045, 2046, 2047, 2048, 2049, 2050, 2051, 2052, 2053, 2054, 2055, 2056, 2057, 2058, 2059, 2060, 2061, 2062, 2063, 2064, 2065, 2066, 2067, 2068, 2069, 2070.

That is basically my life in a list. And each year has 12 months, each month has 4 weeks, each week 7 days, and each day 24 hours. It will all go by very very fast. I just know it. But if I take things one step at a time, and one day at a time, I know there is much I can do. It’s true. God is my side if I am on His. The key to success is knowing that in life, you actually have to do stuff. We are so obsessed with results in our culture, but we forget that all the magic comes from the mundane, the long days and the sometimes draining efforts of our days, and our hard work.

I don’t know if I have escaped. I am not so sure, but I do feel free, even with this low ass battery level.


Things are looking up. I look up to God and am thankful for all of the changes in my life, both good and “bad.” I think, it’s all good in the end. Praise Jesus.