Archive for August, 2018


Posted: August 4, 2018 in Uncategorized

In my own dream, I had a sexual experience with what I can only recall as a 400 page, 5×7 paperback.

One of my coworkers, we’ll call her Bethany, was looking onward, cheering on as I grew tired:

“You look so cute! You look really hungry right now!”


I also dreamt of being a barista at someone’s funeral, and was extremely ridden with anxiety because the grind on the espresso machine was so course that it was jammed on several occasions; and all the milks in my fridge were expired by at least a couple of days- some for a couple of weeks.

Anyway, with the book, this is how it went down. I had made an appointment at a ‘happy ending’ massage parlor. and sought out a sexual encounter that would perhaps end with losing my virginity. It was pretty vivid.  I remember a sign in sheet. I remember waiting for the blue bus- public transport system in Santa Monica- to get there. I remember watching an old surveillance video of the massage place where a man- it could have been me, was seduced by two women who were either both Asian or one Asian one Caucasian or Latina, and then almost killed by one wielding a samurai sword and trying to slash me across the neck.


I remember, for this second time, the rooms had changed a little bit this time around. It seemed more open and I forget how. Anyhow, I patiently waited on my naked belly on the small bed, for my massage. Someone had come in and started massaging me. I was curious to see if who was massaging me since they didn’t ask me if I wanted a man or woman to perform the service.

It was an old man in a lab coat, wearing gloves, and I believe he was wearing reading glasses and glossing over a book. It could’ve been- upon reflection- Freud or Jung, but it sort of reminded me of the dude that plays Prof Xavier in X Men. I remember a slim, silky, tanned Asian woman behind him, and I saw all of this from the reflection of the window front of me because I was afraid to look back and see or cause something horrifying.


I remember seeing some pulsating device- sort of like those small mechanical devices that removes one’s own ear wax. It was white, plastic, and looked in a lot of ways like a glue gun with little yellow green bulbs on the tip. I felt them massage what I believe were my hamstrings. I might have freaked out a little bit.

Without a moment’s notice, everyone was gone from the room. But out of nowhere, Bethany stood facing me on the now actual bed. I was having sexual intercourse with a paperback whose cover I believe was the color black; maybe the book Gone Girl; and also I was doing the lifeless book doggy style, knees standing firmly on the sheetless mattress. I think she was wearing that blue sweater with the white stars. She was chanting on. It felt really good and I felt my pace was steady and that I would not approach climax for a while. It was either in the dream or upon waking up with an erection that I wish I had been fucking her. You know, to fuck a woman was what I was planning after all.

I fucked the book like this: not through between pages but the opening that the spine creates. It’s hard to explain unless I show you in person. But as a writer we have to show. Open the thick book right in the middle. The spine will open and separate from the binding and create a diamond like opening that you could probably stick a pencil in. That’s what I did. i inserted my penis into that opening but the book was mushy inside, maybe like a real vagina, or a flesh-light if you know what that is.


I don’t know what this dream means or what it is trying to tell me. I think it’s my subconscious mind telling me that my passion is literature- esp. in regards to writing and that a woman would love me by supporting my endeavors. In contrast, it could have been telling me that I was too timid or afraid to fuck or be intimate with a woman, and that I chose to settle quickly with a mode of escape- in this case some epic thriller.


I thought I would wake up with a penis oozing with semen, but I just woke up with an erection. I wanted to finish in the restroom but I chose not too. I was really hungry and thirsty last night.